Bond v Batman - my shit
Bond's Weaponry and Gadgets For fairness, we are including gadgets used by earlier incarnations of Bond. It's still Craig's Bond, Walther PPK/S: A 9mm pistol palm-locked to Bond. He - and only he - can use it, and with a high level of accuracy. Originates in Skyfall. Cell phone: A modified Sony Ericsson C902 cell phone with a built-in identification imager, capable of compiling a composite facial image even if the person being photographed is not fully facing the camera. Originates in Quantum of Solace. Miniature rebreather: A miniature rebreather which can provide an emergency air supply for approximately four minutes, carried in a pocket-sized cylinder when not in use. Originates in Thunderball. Wrist dart gun: Worn like a wristwatch, and is activated by nerve impulses from the wrist to fire both armor-piercing and cyanide coated darts. Originates in Moonraker. Keychain: Has various functions, release by audio cues. Whistling the first bar of "Rule Britannia" causes it to spray stun gas, while a wolf whistle - Bond's personalized signal - activates an explosive charge. It also contains a set of skeleton keys, which Q claims can "open 90% of the world's locks". Originates in The Living Daylights. Detonite Toothpaste: Plastic explosives disguised as a tube of toothpaste. Originates in License to Kill. Wristwatch: Bond's wristwatch, other than being stylish, contains a laser cutter as well as acting as a detonator for explosives he plants. Originates in GoldenEye. Bond’s X-Factors: Strategist: Bond is an excellent strategist, able to create several plans to achieve his goals. He also has been shown to be excellent at improvisation, changing said plans on the fly as his mission and circumstances demand. He is very adept at using his environment to his advantage, letting him get an edge even when outnumbered and outgunned. He was able to set up numerous lethal traps in Skyfall, using only ammunition and wiring. Deductive Ability: Bond possesses a very strong analytical ability, analogous to many depictions of Sherlock Holmes. He has been shown to form very specific and very accurate conclusions about events and people based on minute details. Persuasive: Bond tends to use psychological or physiological methods to interrogate people, quickly getting the results he needs. He has also been shown to be very, very good liar, as seen in Quantum of Solace when he managed to convince a hotel clerk that his group were teachers who had just won the lottery though sheer charisma. Peak Human Strength: Bond is in peak physical condition, giving him a higher than normal strength and toughness. His intense training regimen has kept him in peak condition, as observed by Le Chiffre in Casino Royale. He is also highly athletic, capable of free-running continuously for several minutes. This leads to a high level of endurance, as shown by the torture scene from Casino Royale. Master Close-Quarters Combatant: Bond is a very capable martial artist, knowing several styles and using them to lethal effect. When forced into melee combat, Bond tends to strike swiftly and with great force, killing or incapacitating his foes as quickly as possible. Even when alone and handcuffed, he was able to knock out several MI6 agents with solely his hand-to-hand prowess. Additionally, Bond has displayed a proficiency with knives, using them both as melee weapons and as throwing implements. Peak Human Reflexes: Bond has impressive reflexes and reaction time, able to catch and accurately return projectiles, such as unloaded guns, when under pressure. Marksmanship: Bond is a highly proficient marksman, able to use many different guns with a high level of precision. Stealth: Bond’s trade as an assassin and a spy has seen him develop skills in moving quietly, acting quietly, and fighting quietly. While not a consummate master, Bond is very highly skilled in stealth. Bond Intro Location: {Name} Casino in {Foreign city} Seven men sit around a poker table, eyes on the antes thrown in by the blinds, totaling $3,000. The dealer flips out fourteen cards, and each player checks his two. Three fold, leaving four in the game. One was named Josef Weinberg, a Russian government official in a white tuxedo, was the big blind and down for the night. The second was CIA Agent Felix Leiter, wearing a more subdued black tuxedo with a bowtie and the small blind; he was similarly down, barely staying afloat. The third was Manoel Ervin, a Swiss banker being covertly investigated by a joint CIA-MI6 operation. The fourth, wearing a black dinner jacket, was James Bond. The dealer burns a card and turns the flop, revealing a three of clubs, a seven of spades, and a four of diamonds. Weinberg raises, and the others follow suit, studying both the other players and their own cards intensely. The turn is revealed as the ace of diamonds. Bond raises again, forcing Weinberg to go all in. Leiter glances at Bond, who simply looks back. Sighing, he follows suit, and Ervin checks. The game had attracted quite a crowd of onlookers, unsurprising when the pot was in excess of $300,000. The river is revealed as the ace of clubs. Ervin looks up at Bond, and the two lock in a staring match. After a few seconds, both men go all in. The pot was now worth nearly a million dollars. The players flip over their cards, starting with Weinberg. “Two pair, Aces and Threes,” the dealer says, and then looks at Leiter, who does the same. “Three Aces, King high” The dealer says, looking at Ervin, who also flips his cards. “Straight, three to seven.” The dealer looks at Bond, who simply flips his cards and pushes them towards the dealer. “And it’s Aces full of Sevens for Mister Bond,” the dealer says, as James rakes in his winnings. He then gets up from the table. “I think I should quit while I’m ahead,” he says lightly, and waves over a waiter. “Vodka martini. Shaken, not stirred.” Both Leiter and Ervin get up, but Weinberg buys in a new round. Leiter walks past Bond coldly. “He’s all yours now. Call me if you need backup,” he whispers as he passes. Ervin walks towards the bar, and Bond sits down next to him just after the Swiss orders a whiskey on the rocks. “You’ll pardon me, Mister Bond, if I’d prefer different company right now. You did just take my money, after all.” “And now I’m giving you a chance to win it back.” Ervin simply laughs. “And what, pray tell, could that be? A drinking contest?” “Well,” Bond says, catching the eye of a rather voluptuous woman walking by, wearing a teal dress. She winks at him, and then is lost in the crowd. “You may just have some information I need.” “So long as it’s not about one of my clients. I do have a reputation to uphold.” “Do the words ‘Eiger Sanction’ mean anything to you?” “You mean that spy novel?” Evrin asked, “Now why would you want to know anything about that?” The banker’s entire demeanor changed; formerly jovial, he had suddenly turned suspicious and cold. “I see…” The two continue to drink in an uncomfortable silence. Bond then places his empty martini glass down and gets up to leave. “I should probably get back to my room.” After he gets up to leave, Ervin makes a quick call. “He knows. Capture him.” Bond enters the elevator, along with four others, each wearing white suits. It starts heading up, and Bond feels a sudden tightening around his neck as a garrote is slipped around it. He leans into it, and then whips his head back with as much force as he can muster. He hits the man’s nose, breaking it and driving the cartilage up into his brain. He then ducks under the punches of the second man, striking the third in the sternum as he comes back up. A punch to the head knocks the second man cold, while a jab just under the sternum and an axe kick to the spine takes out the fourth. Bond grabs the garrote before the third man can fully recover and starts choking him out. By the time the elevator arrives at his floor, all four assailants are lying on the ground. Exiting the elevator, Bond sees a familiar white tuxedo. Josef Weinberg is standing in front of him, gun in hand. “All this because you lost a game of poker?” As the Russian brings the gun to bear, Bond draws his own and fires off three shots; one the man’s gun, rendering it useless, and the other two hit in the chest, which gets absorbed by Weinberg’s bulletproof vest. Throwing the now-useless gun away, Weinberg comes at him swinging. Bond dodges a few blows, but anything he gets in the man just absorbs. He backs up, maneuvering until they enter the public bathroom. Bond dodges as the Russian’s swing hits a stall door, and he then moves to trip the man as he falls face-first into the toilet. Not wasting any time, he pulls his gun back out and shoots the man in the head. Considering for a second, he then kicks the lever. “There. He got a flush.” Bond walks out of the bathroom and strolls to his own room, holstering his pistol, dusting himself off and fixing his cufflinks. He enters and locks the door, immediately going on high alert as he hears the sound of footsteps coming from the bathroom. He puts his hand right back on the pistol, ready to draw and fire as a woman steps out, wearing only a towel. Bond then notices a teal dress on the floor and lowers his hand. Wordlessly, she walks towards him, letting the towel drop. Bond steps up, and kisses the woman. His eyes widen with shock as he feels a needle being jabbed into his neck. “Your kind always falls for the pretty faces, James,” the woman says, pulling away and lowering the paralyzed and nearly unconscious Bond to the floor. "One kiss and you're all weak in the knees." She then makes a call on her cell phone. “Manoel? I’ve got him.” Category:DF